In Episode 010 of Playfully Faith Parenting, I talk with Katie Wetsell of Parent with Hope about playfully and faithfully using the coping tool grounding.
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Show Notes
Episode Summary:
In this episode, I interview Katie Wetsell of Parent with Hope. She is Connected Families Certified Parent Coach and loves to especially help parents of children who experience anxiety. Katie introduces us to grounding, a coping tool, and ways to use it both playfully and faithfully as we help our kids work through tough moments
Katie’s Bio: I’m a pediatric nurse and mom of four through birth and adoption. I am passionate about encouraging and empowering parents to love their families with confidence and connection. Building on my bedside experience, I have also been trained in SPACE treatment (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) to help parents support their children in overcoming anxiety.
Verses from the episode:
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Links from the episode:
Katie’s Website: www.parentwithhope.org
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Katie’s Instagram: @parentwithhopecoach
Katie’s Facebook: @parentwithhopecoach
Katie’s Email: coach@parentwithhope.org
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Transcript
Here is a rough transcript of Playfully Faithful Parenting Episode 010: Playful Coping Tool for Kids’ Anxiety. This isn’t meant to be pretty and perfect but is here as a resource for those who want it.
Transcript
Joy
Hello, thank you so much for being here today.
Joy
Katie, would you like to introduce yourself to our audience?
Katie Wetsell
Sure, my name is Katie Wetsell.
Katie Wetsell
I am a pairing coach certified by connected.
Katie Wetsell
Families and I coach parents through my business parent with hope.
Katie Wetsell
And I’ve also gotten special training in space, which is stands for supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions.
Katie Wetsell
It’s a parent based therapy for kids who are struggling with anxiety and really follows kind of in step with the connected families framework with some additional tools when anxiety.
Katie Wetsell
The considerable struggle in families, and before I did that, though I was a pediatric nurse nurse practitioner professor, all the things in nursing and pediatric nursing.
Katie Wetsell
And then I have 4 kids.
Katie Wetsell
They are ages 6 to 15.
Joy
Wow, you are a wealth of knowledge and experience and I am just really excited to hear what you’ve got to share with us today and I know I have friends who have worked with you and have really benefited from that so I’m just I’m excited to learn more.
Joy
Today on our podcast we talk a lot about spiritual parenting and how that is living out your own authentic faith in front of your kids and then inviting them to know who God is.
Joy
Is so, we’ve talked a little bit.
Joy
You told us a little bit about some anxiety things and and other ways that you have done it.
Joy
What what does spiritual parenting look like in your house and how does God play into all of these?
Joy
You know these experiences that you’ve had.
Katie Wetsell
Yeah, to me, spiritual parenting is about looking at the eternal truth.
Katie Wetsell
That are maybe beneath our temporal temporal experience that are the answers to some questions we have about our temporal experience, or the context for how we understand.
Katie Wetsell
Our day-to-day lives, our struggles, our relationships, spiritual parenting is encouraging my kids.
Katie Wetsell
It’s in how their experience right now fits in that bigger eternal picture that makes sense.
Katie Wetsell
Yeah yeah.
Katie Wetsell
So seeing God in both our joy and our play as you, I love how you focus on that as well as seeing his.
Katie Wetsell
Presence to comfort us and give us hope in the face of our pain or anxiety.
Katie Wetsell
And and so you know, I really kind of use my developmental background and my medical knowledge to kind of be cognizant of like where kids are.
Katie Wetsell
But seeing each moment as a chance for them to learn a bit more about God and learn a bit more of what that looks like to trust him and worship him.
Joy
I love that that’s that’s great.
Joy
I think knowing kids development in the way that God has created them to grow just is so helpful as a parent and and and.
Joy
And in your role as a coach to parents, that can be really helpful to help them.
Joy
You know, understand what’s going on and and that a lot of the things that parents struggle with are really normal and just the way God created their kid, you know, uniquely to to grow and.
Joy
Learn about his world.
Katie Wetsell
Yeah exactly yeah.
Joy
So are you a playful family?
Joy
This play look like in your house?
Katie Wetsell
Yeah, so I mean of course young kids as you know, are just so driven by play and it’s so essential.
Katie Wetsell
And so I would say yes, we’re playful.
Katie Wetsell
I always want to be more a part of that.
Katie Wetsell
I would say it’s mostly led by my kids and my husband.
Katie Wetsell
If I’m going to be honest.
Katie Wetsell
About it, but it’s so good for me too.
Katie Wetsell
And even before I had kids I really enjoyed that about working with kids by as a nurse and and that’s kind of why I pursued.
Katie Wetsell
That specialty, because I can be very task oriented and good about like being responsible and getting things done.
Katie Wetsell
But kids require you to play while you do that, and it was so good for me as someone who is like gung ho about diving into the heavy things to have.
Katie Wetsell
Children in the mix who are begging for some levity who are like, well, let’s have fun while we do it.
Katie Wetsell
Let’s play.
Katie Wetsell
You’re not going to touch me unless you come playfully.
Katie Wetsell
You know so so I would say my kids are more often the leaders of the play in our home.
Katie Wetsell
But I am growing more and more willing participant as I work through what are those barriers you know within me that keep me from playing or externally like the dishes?
Katie Wetsell
Or, you know that’s a room.
Joy
Absolutely yes.
Joy
Well and you know, they said that the little child will leave them so.
Joy
Let’s let them lead us in play.
Joy
I think that’s great.
Joy
And what was your ideogram type?
Joy
I know you’ve mentioned it before.
Katie Wetsell
I am an India gram one and so yes I love responsibility.
Joy
A1 OK.
Katie Wetsell
I love like.
Katie Wetsell
Progress and development and problem solving, but in health I go to a 7, which is that more adventurous, spontaneous and so I think that’s part of why it feels so good for me to have that encouragement to move that direction to not be rigid about making progress.
Katie Wetsell
But to be playful about the progress we make.
Joy
Yes, I’m a one too.
Joy
So I totally understand.
Katie Wetsell
I thought you must be a 7 with.
Joy
No, I am one.
Joy
Just leaning into that seven and I’m I like to play perfectly so I know I know that play is the right thing to do for kids and so I’m going to strive to go all the way.
Katie Wetsell
Oh, OK.
Katie Wetsell
Well, that definitely makes sense, yeah?
Joy
Yes, so a few weeks ago you posted on Instagram about something called grounding.
Joy
Can you tell us more about that?
Joy
It was really fascinating.
Katie Wetsell
Yeah, so grounding is a coping skill, right?
Katie Wetsell
So it’s not necessarily going to help you.
Katie Wetsell
Overcome your anxiety, but it’s a way to kind of calm down your experience of it so that you can then move forward.
Katie Wetsell
Come to.
Katie Wetsell
Process it if you need to.
Katie Wetsell
Uhm, to just lessen the intensity of it, and so grounding is like I said, a coping skill, so you don’t want to stop there, but it’s a great way to move your child towards actually processing through whatever they’re afraid of.
Katie Wetsell
Or, you know, calming them to face their fear.
Katie Wetsell
Uhm, or just their angst, and so grounding is using your senses to help Orient you to the present.
Katie Wetsell
So a lot of times with anxiety or dysregulation.
Katie Wetsell
Either way, we have this tendency to either look into the future we be too future oriented.
Katie Wetsell
With well, what if this?
Katie Wetsell
And what if that?
Katie Wetsell
And what is this or this might happen?
Katie Wetsell
Or that might happen, or we get hung up on the.
Katie Wetsell
Ask well, this last time this happened or I remember this and that was scary.
Katie Wetsell
Or you know, like last time I couldn’t do it and and it felt like you know we might kind of or or guilt, right?
Katie Wetsell
Or like I’m just.
Katie Wetsell
I’m never this whenever that whatever all those two things to say, you’re not actually looking at the present moment, you’re feeding.
Katie Wetsell
That anxiety with your imagination when you look in the future or you’re feeding that anxiety.
Katie Wetsell
Uhm, with your memory.
Katie Wetsell
And but looking back in more of.
Katie Wetsell
A negative way.
Katie Wetsell
So both memory and imagination can be really great for tackling anxiety, but sometimes in the acute setting they work against it and feed it, and so by grounding.
Katie Wetsell
It helps us get back in the present moment to kind of interrupt those unhelpful cycles and reorient to either our memory or our imagination and more positive.
Katie Wetsell
Anxiety relieving ways or constructive ways and so grounding is.
Katie Wetsell
Using your senses like I said to, re Orient, and so you know, there’s a lot of different ways you can go about it.
Katie Wetsell
Some have a 54321 where it’s like 5 things. You can see four things. You can touch. Three things you can hear.
Katie Wetsell
Uhm, two things you can take or you know.
Katie Wetsell
So you go through the senses.
Katie Wetsell
To me at it makes a lot of sense because when a child is anxious, they’re usually picking up things in their environment and picking up potential threats, right?
Katie Wetsell
So, like wait, I’m somewhere new or.
Katie Wetsell
The lights are out, or you know, there’s some sensory component to their environment that’s triggered.
Katie Wetsell
Their threat detector, and by saying, well, let’s well.
Katie Wetsell
Let’s look at the environment again and finding those soothing things.
Katie Wetsell
Things can kind of override all that threat vision, if that makes sense.
Katie Wetsell
At least that’s how I think of it.
Katie Wetsell
Maybe that’s that’s what makes sense to me, but.
Katie Wetsell
You know, for me, it definitely checks out with.
Katie Wetsell
You know when I get overwhelmed, I go to my garden and there are sites and there sounds and there are.
Katie Wetsell
And smells, and there’s so many sensory experiences that it’s calming and on the spiritual end I just come taking that moment in seeing the beauty that God has given us.
Katie Wetsell
Really helps me calm down and feel his presence and his provision, and so you know it can go deeper in the spiritual way as well.
Katie Wetsell
But you know it, it works without the spiritual element.
Katie Wetsell
But again, that’s Christian parents.
Katie Wetsell
When you can can worship God through that sensory inventory of what he has given you in your environment and the way he surrounded you, uhm.
Katie Wetsell
It brings that deeper element.
Joy
I love that and I love the the phrase sensory inventory.
Joy
I hadn’t heard that before.
Katie Wetsell
I just made it up.
Joy
It was fabulous.
Katie Wetsell
Maybe I did, maybe someone said it before.
Joy
No, that’s fabulous.
Joy
Uhm, so just in both my disciple Ng kids and my playful mom away I like I can see lots of opportunities with this.
Joy
Do you use grounding playfully?
Joy
Ever because I you talked about when you feel overwhelmed, you like to go to your.
Joy
Garden which to me would be a type of play.
Joy
You know gardening for especially for adults, is a great way to play.
Joy
It’s something that they just enjoy doing and and and can, you know, have that very playful spirit about it?
Joy
So do you use grounding playfully?
Katie Wetsell
Yeah, uhm, I would say.
Katie Wetsell
My youngest is a really big fan of I spy.
Katie Wetsell
I mean, she just thinks it’s the greatest game ever.
Katie Wetsell
And it and it works.
Katie Wetsell
So you know it’s if they’re bored on a road trip they can play.
Katie Wetsell
I spy, you know, I’ve used it there, but I’ve also used it when she has gotten upset and seems kind of stuck in that feeling that I’ll be like huh, what?
Katie Wetsell
What shapes do you see over there?
Katie Wetsell
I think I see a circle.
Katie Wetsell
What other shapes do you see works right, and so we kind of get that interruption that refocus.
Katie Wetsell
And then I can go back to whatever triggered her and we can work through it much more calmly.
Katie Wetsell
Or we did it on a walk to school the other day we.
Katie Wetsell
Looked at at.
Katie Wetsell
We did I spy with the other kids who were walking with us and it helped her kind of shake off her aggravation.
Yeah, so I.
Katie Wetsell
Guess you know beyond the I spy.
Katie Wetsell
You know, sometimes it’s just like taking a second and me kind of again knowing my child.
Katie Wetsell
And and what kind of appeals to them?
Katie Wetsell
And so it might be, you know, if my child is upset.
Katie Wetsell
I’m being quiet at first, right?
Katie Wetsell
’cause I don’t want to add to their anxiety with my own, and definitely if I’m like oh let’s do grounding, you know, take a deep breath left ground.
Katie Wetsell
Some of my kids will feel like I’m trying to control them and really push back against that, and then I become a part of the threats in their environment, and so again it.
Katie Wetsell
Kind of starts with me.
Katie Wetsell
Kind of slowing down and taking a deep breath and kind of understanding like taking a.
Katie Wetsell
I can’t.
Katie Wetsell
To really mentally understand what’s going on and myself as well as my child and then I can.
Katie Wetsell
Uhm, you know one of my kids really wants help from me.
Katie Wetsell
And so you know, I might start with instructing like, OK, let’s take some deep breaths.
Katie Wetsell
And so we might do like square breathing or dragon breathing.
Katie Wetsell
Or kind of trying to make the breathing playful.
Katie Wetsell
And and then we might, you know.
Katie Wetsell
Like do you hear?
Katie Wetsell
That is, that a bird here.
Katie Wetsell
Do you hear?
Katie Wetsell
That bird you know, so I might kind of start queuing them into some sensory things in our envir.
Katie Wetsell
Meant again just to kind of bring that soothing in a, you know, a younger kid.
Katie Wetsell
They might have a favorite stuffed animal that they can rub and like oh does the nose feel different than the hands you know and you just start kind of leading them in noticing these different sensory things and and that’s kind of calming.
Katie Wetsell
To them in the moment, and so you know my older kids I want to see them be a little more independent with that, and so I might give just like a gentle cue, but not lead them as directly because I want them to internalize that and own it.
Katie Wetsell
But yeah, it’s been helpful and I’ll tell you one more story of when it was helpful was in online in the car, right?
Katie Wetsell
So all my kids, all four kids were in the car and the oldest one was right in the middle.
Katie Wetsell
And something happened and he just got really upset and was feeling overwhelmed.
Katie Wetsell
And he is one that I mean.
Katie Wetsell
I don’t know if all oldest siblings are like this or it’s his temperament, but he will take it out on everyone around him.
Katie Wetsell
Given the chance.
Katie Wetsell
You know, he’s very sensory sense.
Katie Wetsell
And so.
Katie Wetsell
I’m trying to help him but he is right next to younger siblings and.
Katie Wetsell
You know they’re kind of what one of them wide eyed like what’s going to happen.
Katie Wetsell
The other ones fighting back tears ’cause he’s absorbing all the feelings.
Katie Wetsell
And then my daughter, who’s six is like ready for a fight anytime someone wants to buy it like she is she is.
Katie Wetsell
She’s a fight like she just yeah, she’s getting.
Katie Wetsell
So if he you know says something to her or she’s gonna fight back you know which is not going.
Katie Wetsell
To go well.
Katie Wetsell
So basically I’m assessing this situation.
Katie Wetsell
I’ve got a volatile child and I can’t get us anywhere safe to like separate him or whatever.
Katie Wetsell
So I use grounding, so I said alright, let’s look at the windows who see something green.
Katie Wetsell
What something green.
Katie Wetsell
You can see what other colors do you see, and so I started doing grounding and So what happened is my other kids had a safe place to put their attention instead of what their brother might do.
Katie Wetsell
Or say or feel.
Katie Wetsell
And then my son, who was having a hard time at it, created a social psychosocial space.
Katie Wetsell
I would say for him to feel his feelings without that temptation to take it out on those around him.
Katie Wetsell
And so it was really a really great moment too.
Katie Wetsell
To redirect.
Katie Wetsell
The children who were OK and make space for that child who was not OK.
Katie Wetsell
And then he could kind of talk through his feelings and we could work through it without him feeling like everybody looking at him.
Katie Wetsell
You know, so that that was one of my favorite stories using grounding.
Joy
Yeah no, that’s great and I love the kind of using I spy as a way of grounding for little kids, especially ’cause my kids love it too.
Joy
My my youngest, all you know, the three middle ones love I spy, so I think that’s really.
Joy
Really great and just there was just like so many tips in there.
Joy
I love the talking about the different textures on the stuffed animal I think is super helpful.
Katie Wetsell
Oh good.
Joy
Uhm, yeah, there’s just so much in there I love that.
Joy
Do you use it faithfully?
Joy
Like in a discipleship way in any?
Joy
At any time.
Katie Wetsell
Yeah, I would say it’s it’s a more recent intentional technique.
Katie Wetsell
Again, it’s kind of like you.
Katie Wetsell
You know these things work, but sometimes it’s more subconscious and so, especially like I said, having a big family and and trying again doing a lot of what didn’t work well.
Katie Wetsell
And then finding something that did.
Katie Wetsell
I think I do because it it also brings me into the present as I’m leading my kids and like seeing all the good things and all the beautiful things and all the soothing things in our environment.
Katie Wetsell
I get into the present more too and I begin.
Katie Wetsell
I have a sincere.
Katie Wetsell
A spiritual experience, I would say by being in the present and not being consumed with.
Katie Wetsell
All the other things I need to do or haven’t done, or you know all those things that we can get get wrapped up in our mind.
Katie Wetsell
And so as I’m present with them.
Katie Wetsell
You know I can move on to man isn’t amazing what God has given us, isn’t it so cool that there are so many different colors like?
Katie Wetsell
I’m so thankful that.
Katie Wetsell
God helped somebody come up with stuffed animals at something weeks old in her lap and in my momma brain.
Katie Wetsell
I’m like and.
Katie Wetsell
I don’t have.
Joy
To feed it or scoop poop for it.
Katie Wetsell
Right, I have my own thing, something before, but yeah, it it helps me when we get sued.
Katie Wetsell
That helps lead me towards gratefulness and then I can leave my kids in that and for me I see.
Katie Wetsell
God’s provision in it and and so yeah, it’s something that like.
Katie Wetsell
You know, once a month, OK, I found something that works.
Katie Wetsell
OK, everything is calm and now I’m moving on towards.
Katie Wetsell
That next breath is like God’s with us right now, right? When we slow down and we get present.
Katie Wetsell
God is with us, and again I’m a nature person.
Katie Wetsell
So especially when we’re noticing things in nature, I’m like God made that grow.
Katie Wetsell
Do you remember when we planted that and now look?
Katie Wetsell
How big it is?
Katie Wetsell
You know, look what God.
Katie Wetsell
Did and those to me are my thumb.
Katie Wetsell
Are kind of.
Katie Wetsell
You know, being.
Katie Wetsell
Directly saying, like reminding them that God is with us, but I think sometimes those signposts are comforting.
Katie Wetsell
You know that that God is here and and he’s providing and.
Katie Wetsell
And he’s he’s the best comforter you know.
Katie Wetsell
Like he brings us comfort through these things, but he can bring that comfort in our hearts and minds too.
Katie Wetsell
So I’m getting better at that.
Katie Wetsell
I won’t give you a percentage how faithful I am not doing.
Joy
It no, that was that was great.
Joy
I mean to me and just in my head I’m thinking, oh, just say, can we find 5 green things that God made?
Joy
I mean yes yours.
Joy
I mean yours was so much deeper and I love that.
Katie Wetsell
Maybe yours is where you can start.
Katie Wetsell
’cause you do have younger kids to meet, so maybe that’s a good place to start with.
Katie Wetsell
The really young ones.
Joy
Yeah, yeah, I’m just really excited this is, I mean a new tool for me to try.
Joy
I’m really excited to be able to use this and and I.
Joy
It’s something I’ve heard of in the past.
Joy
Asked but never heard it quite explained this way or thought about it.
Joy
You know, through the lens of play and or discipleship, and I think it just.
Joy
You know you’ve shown us today like there’s so much.
Joy
You know opportunity there for both of those things.
Joy
So I’m really excited to play around with that more.
Joy
And you know, introduce it to my kids more intentionally.
Joy
So thank you so much for sharing this with us and and I. I just think it’s going to be really helpful for the other mom’s listening. And so, yeah, I just really appreciate that.
Katie Wetsell
Well, thank you God.
Joy
Our last yeah our last saying I really believe that Mom’s need play just as much as their kids. So how do you like to play?
Katie Wetsell
Yeah, you know.
Katie Wetsell
I when I’m alone I am an extrovert.
Katie Wetsell
So when I’m alone I just chill.
Katie Wetsell
Uhm, but I do find when.
Katie Wetsell
Like I’m outdoors that is played to me so the garden is play.
Katie Wetsell
It’s experimenting, it’s, you know, it’s physical and and I love the garden for that.
Katie Wetsell
I’ve recently gotten back into running and so when I run I make up the route as I go, and that feels really playful to me of a man.
Katie Wetsell
Sometimes just testing my own sense of direction.
Katie Wetsell
And so even if I’m doing something that’s like, you know, just a daily healthy habit, finding a way to do it playfully feels really good.
Katie Wetsell
And and you know where I run helps me connect more spiritually in that as well.
Katie Wetsell
And then sometimes I really need to do something in consequence.
Katie Wetsell
Like just paint my nails a fun color I I’m not.
Katie Wetsell
I’m not a big like nail person, but sometimes I do it just because I need to do something light and inconsequential.
Katie Wetsell
To to play, you know, so uhm, so playing with my kids it’s fun.
Katie Wetsell
And but I love.
Katie Wetsell
I love music and dancing and in nature you know playing in nature.
Katie Wetsell
It’s one of my favorites, so.
Joy
That’s all sounds like a lot of fun to me, so I love it.
Joy
Well, Katie again, thank you so much for being here and uhm, I just can’t encourage my audience enough to reach out and come.
Joy
Follow Katie on Instagram and I’ll have some other ways to connect with you.
Joy
In our show notes, is there any last thing you would like to share with the audience?
Joy
Any offers or anything you’d like to tell them about?
Katie Wetsell
And yes, so I do have a website. It’s parent with hope.org.
Katie Wetsell
And for your listeners, I made a coupon code if they would like coaching and the code is P.
Katie Wetsell
FP 10 so.
Katie Wetsell
Playful playfully faithful parenting.
Katie Wetsell
P 10 for 10% off at coaching so uhm.
Katie Wetsell
If they would like to.
Katie Wetsell
Follow up and dive deeper on.
Katie Wetsell
And again, parenting in general or are dealing with anxiety.
Katie Wetsell
And that’s what I love doing.
Katie Wetsell
I love encouraging and empowering parents.
Joy
Awesome, thank you so much and yeah, so thanks Katie and we will talk to you soon.
Katie Wetsell
Alright, thank you joy.
