Is online church at home working for you and your kiddos? While I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE our church’s children’s ministry, honestly, it just isn’t working for us virtually. With 5 kids from 4 months to almost 8, we have struggled week in and week out to do online church as a family.
We had some good weeks, but we have had so many more rough weeks. So many Sunday mornings where fights seemed unusually endless, diapers seemed unending, the baby seemed unusually fussy, and hunger was never satiated.
We have tried so hard as a family to make virtual church at home work. To worship together through the music, listen to a children’s message, prayer, and the sermon. Communion has been pretty meaningful at home at times, but, man, overall, we are struggling.
Down Hill
I had absurdly imagined them getting dressed, dancing and praising through the songs, interacting with the children’s message, and then quietly playing or reading a book as my husband and I listened to the sermon.
My girls’ would learn to take notes and follow along in the Bible to the sermon by seeing my example. They would cuddle in their daddy’s lap during prayer. It would be a picture perfect family time.
The first few weeks were close to my visions, but then it lost its novelty. They started fighting over who would bring me my Bible. The girls asked to watch Minnie. They all needed diapers or to go potty. Then, they were hungry. They were thirsty.
It all went down hill. I felt like a failure each Sunday.
Who’s to Blame?
This is not the church’s fault. It is not my fault or my husband’s fault. It isn’t even the kids’ fault. Life is hard right now. That is just how it is. It is abundant, but it is hard.
Our current situation is not normal. While this pandemic is not a surprise to God, it is also not the atmosphere our church services were designed for.
Quitting (Virtual) Church
Church is a strong value in our family. We crave the community of other followers, are refreshed by worshipping together, understand the importance of having our children loved by other Christian adults, and are ever so grateful for it. We are challenged and encouraged by the sermons.
But, for the current season, we have quit “church,” or at least attending the Sunday morning virtual worship. Our family is still tithing. I am still attending a small and the women’s ministry virtually. We still call it our church home. It is still our church home.
But realistically it was serving as a hinderance to our children’s faith and our family’s joy, as much as I hate to admit it.
#ChurchGoals
We want our kids to love church. To love the people, the vision, the message, the events, and the music that helps point them to Jesus. Church is a tool for families in teaching their kids about the Triune God and His love for them. It is not the end-all-be-all. Find out more about the role of Sunday School here.
Our kids miss church and all the relationships they have there. Yet, at their ages, what they miss cannot be provided through the tv screen. And THAT IS OKAY! Forcing virtual “church” on our kids will not help our goal of having our kids love church.
We love our church. Our kids love our church. Our church loves Jesus and our community. All of those things will still be true when we can safely return to be with our church family in person.
Something Better for Us
For the time being, we have found something that is working for our family. It is not going to work forever, and we wouldn’t want it to. It may not work for everyone, but for us it has been better.
Church at Home
So, what are we doing? Essentially, we are being the church in our home. Jesus is always the priority, but after Him we have made our Sunday mornings kid-centric instead of parent-centric. And, you know what? It is more enjoyable for us as well!
What is Kid-Centric?
Kid-centric, or child-centered, is sacrificing our needs for the needs of our children. The Cambridge Dictionary defines child-centered as an adjective “used to refer to ways of teaching and treating children in which the child’s needs and wishes are the most important thing.”
TheFreeDictionary.com defines child-centered as describing something “designed to promote a child’s personal qualities rather than to provide training or information.” Don’t we as parents want church to help our children grow rather than just give them information?
For me, kid-centric means recognizing that I have an opportunity to model the incarnation in a tangible way for my kids, by stepping out of my world and into their world to offer my love and God’s love to my kids.
Our home is not kid-centric 24/7. There are times when I do need to prioritize my needs, my personal faith, or the family’s needs, but most of the time I find that God is faithful and the Holy Spirit shows up for me, too.
What Does Church at Home Look Like?
On Sunday mornings, just like a church service, we start with worship. My family is not a musical one, so hello, YouTube! Each of the four oldest kids gets to pick a song. Most often it is from an old VBS that my oldest attended or one they learned at Sunday School.
After the singing and dancing, we have a short interactive activity/lesson. It is 5-10 minutes, followed by some continued play with whatever the activity was as led by the kiddos.
Finally, we pray. Invite the kids to share something they would like to thank God for or ask for help with and then my husband or I close.
This week we will be adding Communion in, too.
Our Kids’ Reactions to Church at Home
Although we have only done this a couple of times, the girls are loving it! They now are excited about Sunday mornings and to see what we are going to do.
Though it was a slow turning away from loving Sunday mornings over the past 8 months, it was a quick turn back with this one change.
Church at (your) Home
Do you want your kids to love Sunday mornings? Do YOU want to love Sunday mornings again? Here’s a free Church at Home Planner to help you plan a kid-centric Church at Home experience for your family this week. It can be super simple, in fact, that is what’s best!
Conclusion
If virtual church isn’t working for your family, quit. It is ok! God has much more for you than suffering through trying to get your kids to focus, or at least get your kids to let you focus, on church through the tv.
We have the freedom and responsibility to show kids that life with Jesus is abundant and exciting. It shouldn’t feel forced and boring. Just as He loves a cheerful giver, I believe, He loves a cheerful worshipper, too.
Come back to learn what activities we have been doing in our family church time.
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